Don is an idiot. As much as I lover Raymond I hate Don. Even his name is stupid.

Don doesn’t mess with me. I hardly ever talk to him. You ever meet someone who  makes you wanna punch  him just  by the way he looks?  It was probably Don. He’s real scraggly looking like a bit fat stupid looking muslim. He actually, and I’m not making this up, wraps a sheet around his head like a Muslim headpiece.

When the guard gets on the intercom (its against regulations to put anything over your face or on your head) or say something about it at the door, this moron  tells them  its his religious clothing and if they don’t bring him a prayer rug and tell him where East is that he’s going to sue the jail. And they laugh and walk away.

One day he wanted them to refund $8 for a haircut he didn’t get. He ACTUALLY told them that he was going to blow up our pod if they didn’t give him his money. Someone from our pod was getting a haircut up front and told us that they heard over the radio that a Muslim was going to blow up our pod and all the guards left.

Don had told them he was a suicide bomber with 12 pounds of dynamite. They thought he was hilarious. The guards. I think he’s an idiot. He’s always saying goofy stuff like “Oh boy” and everyone starts it all the time. Hardened criminals.

The other night he told Lee that once he’d caught an albino catfish. Named it Wayne and put it in a bucket of water. Little by little he drained the water until one day there was none left. He had trained the catfish to breathe air. He just kept it damp so it wouldn’t dry out. Said that  he took that catfish everywhere. Trained it to flop beside him around the house.

One day he went fishing and took Wayne with him. Just set him right on the dock beside him. Well one of the bait crickets jumped out of the little cardboard box into the pond. Wayne, being hungry and loving crickets, jumped in after it, And drowned.  Yeah they all think he’s soooo funny. Well I don’t. I think he’s sad.

IMW

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tie a knot in the rope

i’m so tired of breathing.  i’ve been told to tie a knot and hang on.  i’ve been told to stand.  i’ve been told to keep fighting.  i’ve been told to minister to those around me.  I can do none of them.  I’m just laying here broken and battered and my only struggle is to just keep breathing.   I’m hurt.  I’m filled with anger and hate.  I’ve heard the worst part about Hell is the complete absence of Gods presence.  Then all thats lacking is the flames.  I don’t want to keep praying.  I have nothing left to fight for.  My physical health is wonderful.  I’ll probably live to be old.  Thats what I have to look forward to.  I have family who loves me beyond belief.  But their kindnesses are like those shown to a stranger.  I see them. and appreciate them for what they are.  I’m too tired and bitter to keep praying.  I can’t pray for strength or grace or mercy.  I have no hope.  How can I pray for vengenace when I’m the worst of everyone?  I have no recourse.  For all hope to be taken.  For every vestige of hope to be completely removed is a terrible thing.  To know that those that hurt me all are happy in their lives.  I’ve fallen.  I’ve failed. But the people I was most loyal to and helped the most have their pleasure in completely destroying me.  I hate all of them.  All I know now is pain and hate.

imw

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