Jerry is crazier than a circus badger. Jail is a frat-house, summer camp, and psych ward all mixed together. With some locker-room.

Amigo ( the Guatemalen) was sitting at the foot of  Jerry’s bed. Pinching his leg. Jerry kept yelling “Quit quit I’m telling you AHHH quit!” Crazy like.  Amigo didn’t quit so Jerry exposed himself and made sure Amigo and everyone else saw it.

I was disgusted. So was everyone else. Jerry laughed like said badger. I warned him. Man come on don’t do it anymore! I guess it didn’t bother Amigo as much as I thought. He pinched him again.

I was ready. I had snuck up on Jerry (his head was to me). Circus badger waved his junk again. I smacked it ALL with a size 16 sandal. Jerry jumped up and screamed like a scalded badger. He expose himself one more time, but this time I laughed. My sandal had left 3 circles (markings from the bottom of my sandal) and left the old barnyard red and swollen.

They don’t call me Hardcore for nothing.

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All things work together. I’m praying for you. Trust in the Lord. I can do all things through Christ. Read the Bible it will strengthen you.

I think people stop using cliches after someone uses one on them during a crisis. I have a beautiful Brand New BIBLE. Took a lot of trouble getting it to me. When I’m at my lowest I take it out for a little help. I look at it like its an instruction manual for a Russian nuclear sub. Written in Russian.

I guess I’ve lost my mind more than I realized. I don’t even know how to use the Bible anymore. Try letting it fall open to a scripture. Did that. The building specs on the badger skin coated tabernacle didn’t really lift my spirits. Nor did UFO’s seen by a naked profit.

I’m reading through even the New Testament and words are blurring together and my mind is loose and ungrasping. I don’t know anything.

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Don is an idiot. As much as I lover Raymond I hate Don. Even his name is stupid.

Don doesn’t mess with me. I hardly ever talk to him. You ever meet someone who  makes you wanna punch  him just  by the way he looks?  It was probably Don. He’s real scraggly looking like a bit fat stupid looking muslim. He actually, and I’m not making this up, wraps a sheet around his head like a Muslim headpiece.

When the guard gets on the intercom (its against regulations to put anything over your face or on your head) or say something about it at the door, this moron  tells them  its his religious clothing and if they don’t bring him a prayer rug and tell him where East is that he’s going to sue the jail. And they laugh and walk away.

One day he wanted them to refund $8 for a haircut he didn’t get. He ACTUALLY told them that he was going to blow up our pod if they didn’t give him his money. Someone from our pod was getting a haircut up front and told us that they heard over the radio that a Muslim was going to blow up our pod and all the guards left.

Don had told them he was a suicide bomber with 12 pounds of dynamite. They thought he was hilarious. The guards. I think he’s an idiot. He’s always saying goofy stuff like “Oh boy” and everyone starts it all the time. Hardened criminals.

The other night he told Lee that once he’d caught an albino catfish. Named it Wayne and put it in a bucket of water. Little by little he drained the water until one day there was none left. He had trained the catfish to breathe air. He just kept it damp so it wouldn’t dry out. Said that  he took that catfish everywhere. Trained it to flop beside him around the house.

One day he went fishing and took Wayne with him. Just set him right on the dock beside him. Well one of the bait crickets jumped out of the little cardboard box into the pond. Wayne, being hungry and loving crickets, jumped in after it, And drowned.  Yeah they all think he’s soooo funny. Well I don’t. I think he’s sad.

IMW

6699

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I don’t know anything anymore. Nothing any more. It’s hard to be humble and gentle when you’re incarcerated. All the time hearing people talk about the horrible stuff that got them in trouble. And making it worse hearing their desire to get back out and do it again. Everyone in here is innocent. I think I’m the only one who thinks I’ve ever done anything wrong.. Two guys got into a fight today. Upstairs by my bunk. Raymond and Brad. I tried splitting them up and holding them back. Raymond stabbed Brad in the face with a broken plastic spoon. Everyone wanted them to fight so I let go and went into a toilet stall.

Brad beat Raymond up. Both were bloody. Blood all on the floor by my bed. Raymond kept calling Brad ‘nigger’. An older black man was here for a couple of days to testify in a trial. He was locked up somewhere else. I sat in the toilet stall and cried while I heard the yells of encouragement to the two fighting. When they were done I cleaned Brads mouth up from all the blood with a wet towel. I apologized for the word nigger being used. To the older black man as well. They were both taken into isolation. My nerves and soul are just being trashed. More and more. I’m not even in a position to reach them or have a desire to. I don’t know I just don’t know. I’m real sad.  IMW

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